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Posted by on May 14, 2012 in Does She Even Have A Point?, Family, Funny, Who Cares?, You Had to Have Been There | 0 comments

My Inner Two Year Old Is Taking Over

I’ve been exhausted all day. I had little sleep last night and what little there was, as usual, wasn’t great.

Today was not the best Mother’s Day either. The car wouldn’t start, so we had to call a tow truck. It took a couple of hours to get that dealt with since they had to send over a different truck than the one they originally sent.

The tow truck and rain meant no grilled burgers.

At nap time, the twins decided it was naked time. There was pee on the carpet.

Dog got excited. More pee on the carpet.

Websites were to be worked on today.

Didn’t happen.

It rained. Sucks to stand in the rain smoking and trying to read Wired.

Kids did not nap.

By the time they went to bed at 7, I was done for the day.

Then my mother-in-law, who lives with us, cooked burgers and made mine nice and bloody (yay!).

My sweet husband had gone out and got Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, and cheesy popcorn, since Mother’s Day didn’t turn out so hot.

Also, my husband broke out Bridesmaids, which was funnier than expected (good work Judd Apatow and crew! Lots of great talent in that movie).

Now, it’s 11:15. I had planned to be in bed hours ago. But my 2 and a half year old twins, that fight nap time and bed time, are rubbing off on me.

My inner 2 year old is doing this:

Grown-up Me: “Ok, it’s time to go to bed.”
Kid Me: “Don’t wanna!”
Grown-up Me: “I have to get up early and work on websites since I couldn’t do much work today.”
Kid Me: “Don’t wanna! Play video games!”
Grown-up Me: “I have to be at my day job after that.”
Kid Me: “No! Go smoke a cigarette!”
Grown-up Me: “I really need to do some work while I’m up now at least.”
Kid Me: “Moar video games! How about a strip club?”
Grown-up Me: “Ok, I could at least do some writing.”
Kid Me: “Moar ice cream! There’s still plenty in the freezer. And video games. Get a tattoo.”
Grown-up Me: “I could sit and pay some bills.”
Kid Me: “I forgot to eat the cake mother-in-law got. Eat cake! I notice you still haven’t moved on that ice cream. Hold up a liquor store!”
Grown-up Me: “Here kid, have an Ambien.”
Kid Me: “Noooooo!! You’re not the boss of me!”
Grown-up Me: “3…2…1…”
Kid Me: “Don’t…wan…zzzzzzzzzzz.”

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Posted by on Mar 22, 2012 in Family, Funny, Not Funny, Who Cares? | 4 comments

Why Did You Change the Name of Your Blog?

A lot of people like the first blog title “Full Frontal Nerdity”. I really do too. Problem is, there are quite a few sites with that name. Actually, my husband and I first heard the phrase watching this awesome, little-seen grown-up cartoon called Mission Hill.

But a couple of weeks ago, while out with a few friends of mine, a friend who is an attorney in Richardson, TX said, “you know, when you compile all of your blog posts into a book, you should call it Facedown in Goldfish Crackers“.

And then I realized: that’s the name of the blog now too.


Well, let me put it like this. I’m the mother of 2 year old twins. I work full-time at a day job as a web developer. The rest of the time, I run my own web design and development business. I still try and make time for my husband and have a life too. I read lots of blogs and websites that have to do with my industry. I am active on various social networks. I have a lot of side projects. I have a lot of client needs to juggle and I really care about my clients.

Due to me having kids, I kinda developed a few anxiety issues. It led to an inability to sleep, and the stupid-ass-shit that would keep me awake at night were things like:

  • There’s an electrical storm! What if the house is hit by lightning and catches on fire and I can’t get to the kids in time?
  • There’s a blanket in the crib with the kids. What if it gets tangled around their necks?

The mantra of new moms: "is the baby still breathing?".

Then there’s the part where I’ve been getting paid to make websites for 10 years, but I’d sit up at night panicking over some coding problem I was trying to fix. And my husband even commented, “Did you know you do this every time? You panic that you won’t be able to fix it, then you fix it on time?” Apparently I have yet to grasp that I know what I’m doing now.

So I got a little help from the family doc to help me sleep.

As such, due to my schedule and inability to sleep, my personal “Mommy” time became this:

  • I have 20 to 30 minutes between when I take the night-night pill
  • while I read fiction (at this time, re-reading The Wheel of Time series)
  • and I snack on a bowl of Goldfish Crackers
  • before the drugs kick in as I read and then I pass out, facedown, in my crackers.

I fight the meds kicking in. I think, “just one more page” and keep reading. Then I wake up and:

  • my book and empty bowl are on my nightstand, with me having no memory how they got there
  • there is a bowl and a pile of goldfish crackers on the floor, and a book, with me having no memory how they got there
  • my book is put up (but my place isn’t marked) and my empty bowl is on the nightstand, with me having no memory how they got there
  • there are goldfish crackers all over the bed, including down by my FEET, my husband said "screw it" and went to bed like that, and I have no idea how he or the crackers got there.

I am a very driven woman. I am a Type A personality. I have a lot of goals, and I will make necessary sacrifices to meet them. Don’t get me wrong, I do make time for myself now and then. But even with that, I’m a worrier with an over-developed sense of responsibility, and a perfectionist. So, hooray Ambien.

This is why I write so infrequently on my blogs.

Because sometimes, I start a post, but end up facedown in Goldfish Crackers.

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Posted by on Sep 9, 2011 in Nerd Rage, Who Cares?, You Had to Have Been There | 2 comments

My Pre-Coffee Email to yfrog

My Pre-Coffee Email to yfrog

Ok, some background for those who may read this and go, “I don’t get it”.

yfrog, is a popular web service that allows Twitter users to share photos (because Twitter wasn’t designed for that).

I signed up for the first time, yesterday.

horrible captcha

So...I have to bust out a Windows Character map to fill out a captcha now??? Sigma to the 2nd power?? I am not making this up. This is not Photoshopped. This is an actual screenshot.

And I tried to finish the new user registration process today, and was stopped by a captcha. Trust me, you know what that is. It’s that completely illegible picture of words some websites make you fill out before you can click the submit button for ANYTHING (look at that picture on the left).

And you fill it out 5 times, cussing the whole way, and either your post or message gets through, or you give up in frustration and leave the site, still cussing up a storm.

It’s used to fight spam. But there are other ways to fight spam. We used to use it over on Skippy’s List (yes, that’s my husband and sometimes he says “get in the kitchen and make me a website, woman!”).

We finally ditched the captcha because it’s just a pain in the butt for users. The audio on reCAPTCHA, the one we were using (and the one yfrog uses), absolutely sucks. And any web developer paying any attention knows this. It’s been a complaint for years. I would think that by now, reCAPTCHA knows too because everyone has been making a stink everywhere about it for a while now.

So for some people, there was just no way to ever post a comment. We found other ways to fight spam and have had no problems since ditching the captcha. And that site gets a fair bit of traffic too.

So here’s what I sent yfrog this morning. And the image in this post is the horrible catpcha that was the final straw. And I have to say, for dealing with such a pain in the butt first thing in the morning when my kids woke up an hour early and I’ve had no coffee, this is pretty darn polite.

Also, this is pre-coffee and probably one of those “who cares?” kinds of things (Ok, I get that a lot even after coffee.) Although really, if you own a website, or work with one, you SHOULD care. Really. Blockades between your site visitor and you are a BAD idea.


I got my registration email that said:

“Welcome to yfrog, you are almost there!
Complete your registration by clicking here to change the temporary password we have set for you. Once set, you can login to yfrog with your Twitter login or your email address and password.
We look forward to seeing you on yfrog!”

I failed to be able to log in, because reCAPTCHA has become increasingly illegible over the years (and their audio has been horrible from the very beginning).

So now, when I try and finish this process, I get “We’re sorry, the token you provided is no longer valid”. Which, as a web dev, I know what that means, but if I wasn’t a dev, I’d have no clue what that means or what to do about that.

Further, and I have a screenshot of this, that final captcha has a character I can’t even duplicate! It’s the Greek character sigma, and I *think* (again, hard to read) it’s showing to the 2nd power. I’ll be happy to send the screenshot to you.

Now, I can log back in with Twitter. That’s fine. But will I be able to continue to log in or is this going to stop eventually because I can’t change the password per the welcome email?

The captcha does set a major roadblock between your audience and your product. I understand why you want a captcha. I understand you probably fight bots all day. But if you must use a captcha, can you try another? I know recaptcha is free too, but surely it’s not the only free one you can integrate with your site? We used to use this on my husband’s high traffic humor site, but finally ditched it and thanks to other spam fighting tools, we and the blog are not flooded with spam all day. So, there are other ways.

BTW…to get this message through you, I get to use…another catpcha.

Thanks. And again, I’m a dev, I feel your pain. Maybe whoever set this up was just told they had to do this or use this specific captcha service. I hope this is another voice you can give management or whoever and say, “See? I told you so”.

Your new subscriber,
Janice Schwarz

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